stand tall in your shoes!!

right for you....wrong for them! parenting is something that brings about debate after debate after debate.  some minor and some so controversial that the discussions become seriously heated!  with this comes parents second guessing themselves, wondering if they are doing this right or wrong and maybe feeling a sense of failure with certain issues.  i'm here to tell you to not let it get to you.  if you let the pressures of others get under your skin you will be unhappy parenting.  you have to remember that they are your kids and the choices and decisions you make towards parenting are entirely up to YOU!  don't let others push you around.  make you feel inferior or wrong.  i often find what other parents have to say very interesting and i learn lots from others.  what i don't listen to is negative comments or judgements made towards me and/or my parenting style. 

what's right for you may be wrong for them and vice versa.  for example, i am not a fan of co-sleeping for many reasons and many of you may be fans of co-sleeping for many reasons.  attachment parenting is another one of these situations where you have your beliefs and they may or may not match those of the mom next door.  what i'm trying to get at is you have to do what's right for you.  what's right for your family.  what you feel is right for your child, your marriage, partnership, and everything that is affected by your parenting.  it really doesn't matter what anyone has to say about how you parent.  if you feel you are doing the best you can do and you 100% believe in your techniques, style and choices than who gives a crap what anyone else has to say.  stand firm for your beliefs.  i often get funny looks or wise ass comments when people hear that my boys are asleep by 5:45 pm each night.  but guess what....i don't care!  i love our schedule and it works for our family.  my kids are happy, rested and don't have evening melt downs.  i of course don't have to justify myself to you or anyone else on why i have the schedule we have because like i just told you...it doesn't matter what you think about my parenting.  it matters that it works for me and i 100% believe in how we parent. 

like i've mentioned before, i love to listen to how others parent, ways they deal with certain issues, and so forth.  i don't like to tell them that they are doing something wrong or right.  it's not my place.  i don't have to agree, but i don't have to make them feel bad or feel the need to justify it to me because i am up their bum with negative comments.  whether you decide to co-sleep, sleep train, continue with night feeds, etc. is all entirely up to you and what works for you!  i am here to help if anyone wants help and believes in what i have to say and do.  i am not here to force anyone to take my stand or judge them for having a different stand than mine.  parenting is such a controversial issue with debates up the ying yang.  just do your best, be kind to other parents and remember to stand your ground and don't let others put you down for what you do.  parenting is one of the hardest jobs and you have to believe in yourself to do your best. 

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happy mother's day!!

a very happy happy mommy's day to all you wonderful mommies!  to all of you, whom like myself, dedicate our world, lives and entire heart to our beautiful children.  you deserve a day to be recognized for all your hard work and i truly hope that you were by the ones you love! 

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it's the little things!

being a parent is something no one could have ever fully prepared me for.  it's just one of those things that you have to do to know.  no matter how many times people say just wait until you have kids!   better enjoy life now before the baby comes!  your life will never be the same!  you simply don't get it, until you do it!  having kids is totally indescribable.  each person experiences it in a different way and there is no way to tell anyone what it will be like.  for me, i sort of thought i had a pretty good idea what i was getting into.  i have my masters in education and taught kindergarten before kids.  i also used to do tons of babysitting and was a part time nanny during university.  needless to say, my life revolved around what i loved, kids!  the funny thing is, even with all the experience i had with children...it's just not the same as when they are your own.  having your own brings about this overwhelming sense of responsibility and with this comes this out of this world, massive type of love.  i never could have imagined how much i would have loved my kids.  the love is a love so big that you would jump in front of a moving train to save their lives.  you would sacrifice anything to make them happy and to be sure they are comfortable, healthy and happy individuals. 

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running around like a chicken with your head cut off?

this expression holds very true for many families in today's society.  i have a 3 year old and a 10  month old, but i find myself feeling the outside pressures to "over-schedule" my child.  in this link, dr. susan newman, writes about why it is so important to take a step back and remember what's truly important, family. she mention how family should come first before all the extracurricular activities.  she doesn't say to stop all activities, but she says to leave time for family!

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is the dog getting more food than your baby?

it's funny how you can forget so much from one child to the next!  it also boggles my mind how two kids from the same recipe can have such different personalities!  these differences are what make each of our kids unique and why we love them all so much!  that being said beckett (10 1/2 months) is at that stage where he knows he shouldn't do something, but likes to look at you directly in the eye, smirk and follow through with whatever he knows he shouldn't be doing!  when he looks at me with those big, knowing, blue eyes it is hard not to let out a little chuckle or smile, but i try my best to hold strong!  hudson, my first, was one of those boys, and still is, whom always seemed overly compliant.  i would say 'no' 1 or 2 times and he would move onto something else, never to return there again.  it breaks my heart how sweet he truly is!  beckett on the other hand, still sweet of course, is a bit more aggressive if that's the right word:)  he knows what he wants and is doing his absolute best to get it.  i can't fault the guy for his determination but, on the other hand, all of his hard work is making my work a bit more challenging, to say the least.  my 'no'  1 or 2 times to address something with hudson isn't coming even remotely close to the tip of the ice berg with becks. 

the incident that comes to mind with this situation is meal time!!  becks is an outstanding eater, loves everything, including his high chair as this means he is about to get the goods!  he loves the phrase, "do you want to eat?" and you can't get him in his chair fast enough.  not to mention the calluses i've formed from the rapid making of string cheese pieces!  the faster the better, as it's extremely difficult to keep up with the rate he grabs from the tray and inserts into his mouth.  the 6 teeth make chewing minimal so it's a basic insert and swallow!  the trouble comes about as he starts to feel satisfied.  the belly is almost full, the excitement of the meal is over.  there resting in front of him are his sippy cup and extra food pieces which lay there tempting him to do something with them.  his idea, like the majority of little ones, is to place them, rather drop them, onto the floor.  as he leans over the chair to watch the drop with full attention, he will nonchalantly ease is glance towards me to be sure i've noticed his work of art!

teaching your little one to NOT do this will be quick and easy for some and more painful and what feels never-ending for others.  the trick is to express your wants and desires for meal time behaviour EVERY time and EVERY meal!  when they do something you like, such as placing their cup down on the tray, rather than the floor, praise them.  clap, smile and let them know how pleased your are.  when they do the negative behaviour remain consistent with your verbiage, actions, and how you let them know that it is not okay.  for example:  each time beckett picks up his cup and so carefully dangles it to the side of his chair, ever so subtly making me aware that he is thinking of letting go, i say firmly "no, no!!  on your tray or in your mouth!"  i tap the tray to help him understand where i want the cup to go.  if he places it back on the tray i get overly excited to show him that he has pleased me.  by doing this time and time again he learns how to please me and what my expectations are.  kids of all ages love this and feel secure when they know what makes you upset or happy.  i use the same verbiage when he drops food and point to the tray or my mouth so he can get a visual and verbal cue at the same time.  further helping him understand my desires and proper meal time behaviour. see this of hudson trying to teach baby becks!  cracks me up!!

we have been doing this for the past month and we are finally almost there!!  we've only had one milk bomb in that past 2 days and the dog (if we had one) would be starving and royally pissed! kids of all ages need to be taught right from wrong.  good manners versus bad.  they need you, the parents, to show them you care by giving them the information and knowledge they need to learn these behaviours and help them become the best human being they can be!  i know it seems easier to just let them drop their food and say that they don't understand because they are babies.  but truth be told, they do understand and from very early on.  they ache for your attention and ways to make you happy.  be there for them in all incidences and teach them the way.  i know it's exhausting but like i've said before hard work up front makes it so much easier along the way! 

cheers to happy meal times and unhappy dogs (sorry pups)!!

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is pooping seriously a choice?

according to my 3 year old, pooping is actually a choice!!  argh!!  this might be the most frustrating thing for the both of us.  he is fine to go anywhere as long as mommy, daddy, nana, or connie are around to take him to the potty.  for some reason the school potty is a 'no way in hell' sort of place to go.  no good reasons for this stance, but this stance is strong to say the least!  hudson goes to school each morning and stays 2 days for the full day for french immersion.  mon/wed/fri he has no poop issues as he is home 1/2 day to do his business.  our problem arises on his long days!  every tuesday we begin our struggle of being totally backed up!  he remains this way from tuesday-thursday in fear of getting out what is, truly a full-grown man sized poo! yucko and ouchy all at once!  he is completely terrified to go as he knows it will hurt.  i, of course, have to play the roll of coaching!  i feel as though i am coaching him through child birth and the screams and actions from him resemble this act as well :(  together we HATE this whole thing!! 

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i swear by it!!

as mom's, we all have our things we swear by.  whether it be tricks of the trade, methods of parenting, and of course the products we choose to use!  we all have our preferences of which diaper brand, disposable or cloth, homemade baby food or jarred, lotion before bed or not, etc.  this list will go on for eternity, but one product that is definitely worth mentioning as a mommy tip: bio gaia!!!  i swear by this stuff up and down.  it is a little bit like liquid gold!  it's not cheap to say the least, but the amazing work it does on your little ones' immune system is worth every penny!  we go through one of these tiny little bottles, that costs in and around $33.00 each week.  we used to spread it through 2 weeks before the arrival of baby beckett, but now the 2 boys smack back 1 per week.  i can't imagine the bio gaia budget per year if we end up with a 3rd baby, yikes!!

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splashing fish or 'wailing' whale?

newborns and baths...some parents find this time of the day to be a relaxing one, as their infants lay back and relax.  others find this time extremely stressful as their tiny new baby, flails around wet, shivering and flat out pissed! as a first time parent everything can be somewhat awkward as you are trying to get the hang of so many new things.  simply trying to organize when to bathe the baby can be trying enough, let alone the actual handling of the slippery baby both in the bath and getting them out.  with lots of practice and a very useful tip from a nurse when i delivered my first i have been able to get the wailing whale to stop and relax!  once i got the hang of everything, had a schedule/routine in place, bath time was something i, and my baby, looked forward to each evening.  it took me a little bit of time to master the art of newborn bathing with my first.  poor hudson was the guinea pig and had to struggle through my learning and therefore, little becks definitely got the good of the stick with this one! as you can see from the photo just 1 1/2 weeks old and loving every minute of his bath.  so much that he actually fell asleep!  priceless!

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co-sleeping a safe choice?

co-sleeping is one of those issues that happens to be one of the most controversial and talked about topics in parenting.  it seems as though you either fully agree or fully disagree.  there isn't any amount of gray.  my opinion towards co-sleeping is on the side of disagree.  it's not because i don't love to snuggle with my babies, or as hudson would say "nuggle," but rather it's because i find it very dangerous.  it's one of those things where you think nothing will ever happen to your baby in your bed, but the reality is it happens to someone.  sadly, not just a single someone, but multiple families lose their little ones due to co-sleeping every day.  your bed isn't a safe place for your tiny one to be with you. especially because in most cases you are co-sleeping due to complete exhaustion.  you're not as alert as you should be and when your body experiencing this type of exhaustion your not aware of what you may or may not do in your sleep.  i see the perks of co-sleeping. as it makes it easier to feed and attend to your baby when they are right there with you and you don't have to get up out of bed and make the trek down the hall or over to the bassinet.  i fully understand the reasoning behind this, but not enough to outweigh the risks involved.  i also understand that parents want to bond with their babies and give them skin to skin, and time to be physically close to one another.  this again, i agree with and feel is very important.  i believe making time for this during the daytime hours is the safe way to get this type of bonding. many co-sleep because they want to be there the second their baby 'needs' them.  this is an entirely another topic of discussion and one we can get into later, as it's definitely one of my reasons for disagreeing with co-sleep as a sleep solution.  in a nutshell i truly don't agree with co-sleeping for the safety of my babies and everyone else's.  i know we are all trying to do our best and we all have our own beliefs on the many issues involved with parenting.  often we have to learn to agree to disagree, but in terms of co-sleep i stand firm in my belief that it just isn't safe!!

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did the stork drop you a 'good' baby??

if you are answering no to this question than you are absolutely correct!  i'm not talking about your newborn. i'm talking about once your infant gets a bit older and is over any colic phase, if you were one of the unfortunate few who were given this challenge!  the interesting thing is, the answer should be 'no' for everyone!  it's 'no' if you have a baby who doesn't sleep, cries all the time, along with many other issues.  it's 'no' if you have toddlers or kids who don't listen, behave or whom are constantly throwing tantrums spiralling out of control, and of course many other issues that go along with these.  the interesting thing is for those who answered 'no' but don't have any of the above issues.  the reason these people are answering 'no' is because they didn't just get the luck of the draw and were miraculously granted a so-called "good" baby! this is not the case.  the stork didn't just drop them a good one! they put in lots of hard work, time and commitment to their children to help mold them into the human being they are!  therefore you can see where i am going with this post.  your baby, toddler, kids are good because you parented them to be just so.  on the other hand, if they are not so good, than somewhere along the way you may have missed something. this is not a slap in the face to anyone.  rather it's a wake-up call that it doesn't have to be this way!

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